Back in the early 80's, I bought for our family what I thought was a pretty nifty kitchen accessory, the revolutionary Tuna Turner by Hoan with Charlie Tuna pitching "Perfect every time!".
We parted with our underwhelming Tuna Turner in a garage sale shortly after our one-and-only experience; not only hand-cranking our acrylic and steel Tuna Turner filled to the top with a slurry of mayonnaise, mustard, dill, celery, onion, pickle, tuna and hard-boiled egg, but the ridiculous, labor intensive effort it took to clean up afterward. So much for the claims of "Quick & Easy," "No Fork- No Mess!"
Twenty-five years later, my husband searched and found this Tuna Turner in mint condition on eBay and bought it, which I consider wasteful spending, but at least he's never used it. Being the quirky guy that he is, he saw the value in collecting what he considers should be on the Top 10 list of Mother of All Labor-Increasing Devices, designed by an engineer with no comprehension of its use that can be replaced by a fork.
To give honor where honor is due, today I entered my photo of The Tuna Turner into Huffington Post's: "No Impact Week: The Most Ridiculous, Wasteful, Consumer Product Ever!"
Huffington Post - "A major theme throughout No Impact Week has been consumption, and how much we buy (and waste!) that is unnecessary. Here at HuffPost Green we've been thinking a lot about consumerism, and in the spirit of cutting back, we thought it was worth highlighting some of the most insane and unnecessary products out there right now. An automatic spinning ice cream cone, an avocado slicer, and a snuggie for your puppy... some of the products created and sold in this country are truly ludicrous and unnecessary. Be sure to vote for the most outrageous offender.What can you think of, or actually own, that is a Tuna Turner-ish insanely wasteful product? Share it here, share it on Huffington Post.
However, we know that we've only reached the tip of the iceberg in terms of wasteful product that are out there. HuffPost Green would love to see these crazy products that you've come across (through website screenshots) or even have around your house."
Posts
Great post Cris.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of an “event” during my second marriage - to the “prima donna” - which was her self description and one we both agreed on. We also agreed that I was a "Fuddy Duddy", which stills seems very appropriate. Her mother bought “us” a Cuisinart food processor (about $350.00 as I recall). You know, we were able to grate cheese really fast. Cleanup was another matter.
I mildly objected, preferring my old hand held grater (about $1.98 as I recall). We decided one playful evening to have a grate-off to see which machine was most efficient. The rule we agreed to was, the timer starts just before removing our tools of preference from the drawer/cupboard and runs through the wash, clean up and return of said tools to their drawer/cupboard spaces. Two approximately equal hunks of cheese were cut and the timer was started.
My cheese was grated and appliance back in its place well before my wife had started washing the Cuisinart. She was not a gracious ... aahh .... un-winner. She took (uncontested) custody of the Cuisinart when we divorced. I kept (uncontested) custody my hand held grater.
Ah well. It was just one more, slightly humorous, reminder that I am better at selecting simple kitchen appliances than complicated kitchen partners. A lesson that I recall while grating cheese with my old hand held appliance, when alone or with a few dinner guests.
There is now a Hamilton-Beach food processor ($35.00 at a thrift store as I recall) in my kitchen. I use it about 8 times a year for pesto, hummus and cold slaw. It takes a while to clean and I prefer to grate cheese in the way of my grandparents. Simple guys need simple appliances ... and frequent naps. Especially after making pest, hummus or cold slaw.
What a hilarious story, Ken. Love it!
ReplyDeleteWhew. I hoped it would bring a smile and not be out of place. I am liking your blog and plan to try some of the recipes you post here.
ReplyDeletekw